Quietude

Neither in the morning, nor in the night,

I find tranquility in the twilight.

Neither in victory, nor in crush,

I find tranquility in the rush.

Neither on land, nor in the heavens,

I find tranquility in the horizons.

Neither many, nor none,

I find tranquility in some.

Neither in silence, nor in decibels,

I find tranquility in the whispers.

Neither awake, nor asleep,

I find tranquility in a lucid dream.

Neither in gorgeousness, nor in unsightliness,

I find tranquility in the modest flaws.

Neither in black, nor in white,

I find tranquility in grey light.

Neither sunny, nor sodden,

I find tranquility in the autumn.

Neither inside, nor outside,

I find tranquility at my doorstep.

Neither a friend, nor a foe,

I find tranquility in you.

Ruination

I told myself there was no giving up on you;

That no matter what, there was a way to save you.

I believed it and it I meant.

And stopped believing in it I haven’t.

But now I know and now I admit,

The little something that deep within my soul hid –

That someone else’s will,

But my light isn’t enough to drink your darkness.

That with someone and someday it will,

But my soul is not enough to capture your fondness.

That my ink isn’t enough to capture your passion,

That another chapter will give you your communication.

I accept as true that you will be reborn,

But my eyes aren’t enough to see you past your downfall.

Hiraeth

There is wrong and then there is right;

I fight it with all my might,

But the perplexity is all too irresolvable:

Cannot be undone even by the most able.

It’s amusing how life brought me here,

Couldn’t ever guess it was taking me there –

Only stillness lies where.

Screech, O’ heart, there is no one to hear.

There was hope and then came the tears,

There was glee and then came the fears,

There was light and then came the dark;

None failed to leave their mark.

Some slashed the veins, some just the skin,

Nonetheless, the sting was akin.

Cherishing it like a treasure,

I’m trying to turn it to pleasure.

My judgment is clouded

And what lies ahead is shrouded.

There is not a path I can take,

Each will cut me deep.

There is nothing to see;

Nothing but nebulous lines.

But I will keep going,

Because that is where my fate lies.

Inflorescence

Four years or maybe eleven,

Like rainbow colors – all seven,

We were never even.

You came in as a foe, then morphed into a companion.

Alas, it was never uncomplicated for us to be in union.

But I fought more than I thought I could.

But you fought less than I knew you would.

All the red-flags I disregarded,

All the warnings I discarded,

They all laugh in my face;

I try to run away, but they chase.

I knew I was going to be left out in the cold.

Or maybe I already was out in the cold?

Perhaps I was addicted to being bold?

The lies that you told,

The heartlessness that you sold –

They were all cloaked with charm

And I wondered, how could you possibly mean any harm?

Why would you possibly mean any harm?

But I knew something was suspicious

Because the smell in the air was devious,

But I wanted to give you more chances

Because you had one of those naive stances.

But now I know and now I see

That a fiend hides behind that face of thee.

But, don’t worry; my dignity is worth to me more;

More than this feeling of vengeance for my wounds so sore,

More than the heat of my boiling blood,

More than my serene mind, now a violent flood.

There is no need for me to bother,

I will stand by as yet another.

You will bring yourself to your knees,

Never again to rise.

For what you did, you’ll pay the price.

The devil will deliver its kiss

And the chance to see it, I would not miss.

Valley

You call me weak,

But it wasn’t I who portrayed me meek.

You say I am worth nothing,

Maybe that is why I give you everything.

You say I need validations,

Yes, from you who relishes abominations.

You say I am only my body,

Perhaps that’s why what I ever did was make everybody.

You say I am made to be ruled,

Sure, by you whose hormones leave him fooled.

You say I am ordinary.

Indeed, a thought very illusionary.

You see, I am none of what you consider.

Who I am is the uppermost bidder.

What I am is pride.

For whatever you say

Or whatever you do,

I still stand tall; taller than you.

I still fly far above the ground,

With nothing that can have me bound.

Go ahead, split my skin and shed my blood,

Rape my body and rip my soul,

Put me up for show

And have my head hanged low.

I will still put you in your place,

Show you why I am the ace.

Because darling, you don’t know who I am,

And you will never guess what I  can be.

Cerebral

Do you remember?

The coldness of your heart

And the ruthlessness of your ways?

The words you spoke

And the looks you gave?

Do you remember?

Your ego climbing the stairs

And venom as smooth as lace?

My crying eyes

And your deceiving face?

Do you remember?

My spilling blood

And your unflinching veins?

Yes, I remember,

Your jovial laughter

And your ambitions as they soar.

The distance between us;

This always left me wanting more.

Yes, I remember,

The wait to hear from you

And how your words used to lure.

The years you spent in my dreams

And the hours I spent in yours.

Yes, I remember,

How I loved you

And needed you.

Yes, I remember.

Everything.